Sunday, January 20, 2013

I am no hero, I am no warrior

“I am no hero, I am no warrior,

I just have the patience to burn”

I am losing. Losing a portion of my dream every day. I don’t know, how much of it is left. Ideas have become scarce, confidence is extremely low, courage to push myself has drastically decreased… I don’t know, if this is the time to call ‘quits’. Deep inside, every day, I keep frowning at the way I am living life. Every hour that gets wasted pierces through my soul. But what should I do?

I am unable to write research papers. I am unable to produce new ideas. I have lost the love of my life. I don’t know where she is and I don’t even have courage to talk to her. I have failed to keep all the promises that I have made to people around me. Probably, they have forgotten but I haven’t. I was never meant to be ordinary. And for making this life ‘ordinary’, I have myself to blame.

Long ago, when I was a little kid, I read a story of an old man, who is alone on a rainy night, on the verge of death… and he cries in pain about all the time he has lost. He remembers his youth, his courage, his confidence and he wonders why he failed to achieve anything. He looks outside, at the sky, through a tiny window. Within the clouds, through the brightness of a lightening, there appears an angels. The angel resembles the love of his life. He recollects the moments he had spent with her. And then tears flow from his eyes. He remembers the moments, when she was snatched away from him. And how much he wished to be with her. He remembers his attempts at succeed in life and regain her. He sheds more tears. But else can be do? He has lost away all his life and now, he has no one but himself to blame. He repeatedly asks himself, why he ended up living an ordinary life. He has no answers. It’s too late to do anything. He waits for death. But the death doesn’t come easily. And he keep recounting every bit of life that he has wasted away. I remember translating this story of the old man from Urdu to English. I am increasingly getting a feeling that, my life would turn into that.

Last five years have been extremely tragic. During this time, I have lived two lives. One life within my heart and other life outside. Both the lives have no connect with each other. Sometimes, I try to figure out, how one life can exist with other and it all falls apart. The problem is that, just like that old man, I am failing to give shape to the life in the heart. I am failing to convert my dreams into reality. I am failing. And in the process I am losing myself.

At the same time, I am living a life outside. A lot of people have been associated with me in this life. I don’t know, if I ever will be able to explain them about my other life that exists in my heart. I don’t know, if they ever will be able to understand my frustration and humiliation. But then, I don’t want my depression to have any impact on anyone who is associated with me in this outer life.

I know, I am sounding all confused and out of mind. But, I don’t want to sit at my death bed and recollect this life as a waste of time. I don’t want ordinariness to creep into my life. If sacrifices are to be made, this is the time.

A man needs isolation to connect with himself. I don’t know, how long this isolation lasts.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

How to develop submission and devotion to Allah in prayers

This was shared in one of the groups that I am part of. Copyrights belongs to the original creator. Khusho means “submission, reverence and devotion to Allah in prayers”.

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Monday, December 10, 2012

Justic Katju’s letter

Recently, in an enlightening speech, Justice Markandey Katju mentioned that, ‘90% of the Indians are idiots’ as an honest feedback. However, as usual, some people mistook his words of wisdom and sent legal notice to him. In Justice Markandey Kajtu was a Muslim, people would have labeled him anti-national. I say this, because, once in a seminar, I spoke about the status of science in India and criticized the current standard of science in India… after the seminar… a lady walked up to me and started labeling me as antinational. Anyhow, some idiots can’t take feedback. Below is the letter written by Justice Kajtu to the people that have sent him legal notice.

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Dear Tanaya and Aditya,

I have received your email, and am giving my reply, but before doing so in detail I wish to make some preliminary remarks:

  1. I have been misquoted in the press reports, but it is true that I have said that 90% Indians (not all) are fools. My intention in saying so was not to hurt anyone but to awaken people to the realities, that is, the widespread casteism, communalism, superstitions, and other backward traits in the mindset of a large section of our people which is blocking our progress and keeping us poor.
  2. The figure 90% is not a mathematical figure, it simply means that in my opinion a large proportion of Indians (and again I repeat, not all) are fools.
  3. I never named you, nor any community, caste, or sect, and I never said that you are in the category of 90%. Hence I do not see how you are defamed.
  4. I made this comment not to humiliate or harm anyone but because I love the Indian people, they are my people, and I wish them to prosper and have decent lives, which is only possible if the Indian masses develop the scientific outlook and scientific temper and give up casteism, communalism, superstitions and other mental attitudes which a large part (not all) of them presently suffer from. I wish to see India in the front ranks of the advanced industrialized nations of the world, with our people having a high standard of living, instead of suffering from the present evils of massive poverty, unemployment, price rise, corruption, farmer's suicides, child malnutrition, absence of health care and good education, casteism etc. So you see I made that statement not to harm the Indian people, whom I love, but to benefit them. The truth is sometimes bitter, but sometimes bitter medicine has to be given to an ailing person.

Having said this, I may proceed to give a more elaborate explanation.
I wish to first of all clarify that I do not regard Indians as inherently stupid or foolish. It is only at present that large parts of our people are foolish. But there was a time when we were leading the whole world in science and technology, and India was perhaps the most prosperous country in the world. It is now that we are having bad times, but we had a glorious past and shall have a glorious future too, but for that we have to get rid of casteism, communalism, superstitions and other backward traits in the mentality of a large part of our people (because of which I call them fools).
India's Past

With the aid of science we had built mighty civilizations thousands of years ago when most people in Europe( except in Greece and Rome) were living in forests. We had made outstanding scientific discoveries e.g. decimal system in mathematics, plastic surgery in medicine, etc (see in this connection my article 'Sanskrit as a Language of Science on my blog justickatju.blogspot.in and on the website kgfindia.com). However, we subsequently took to the unscientific path of superstitions and empty rituals, which has led us to disaster. The way out of the present morass is to go back again to the path shown by our scientific ancestors, the path of Aryabhatta and Brahmagupta, Sushrut and Charak, Panini and Patanjali, Ramanujan and Raman.
It is not necessary to mention here all the great achievements of our ancestors, but I may just mention a few.

  1. The decimal system in mathematics was the most remarkable and revolutionary invention in the past, and it was created by Indians. To understand its significance, one must know that the ancient Romans, who built a great civilization (The civilization of Caesar and Augustus), felt very uncomfortable with numbers above 1000. This was because they expressed their numbers in alphabets, I standing for 1, V for 5, X for 10, L for 50, C for 100, D for 500, and M for 1000. There was no single alphabet expressing a number above 1000. Hence to write 2000 an ancient Roman had to write MM, to write 3000 he had to write MMM, and to write 1 million he had to write M one thousand times, which would drive him crazy.
    On the other hand, our ancestors discovered the number 0, and hence to write 1 million they had simply to put 6 zeros after 1.
  2. Plastic surgery was invented by Sushrut 2000 years ago, whereas Europeans invented it only about 100 or 200 years back.
  3. The English alphabets are all arranged haphazardly, there is no reason why D is followed by E, or E by F, or F by G, etc. On the other hand Panini in the first 14 sutras of his Ashtadhyayi arranged the alphabets in Sanskrit scientifically. Thus , the first sequence of 5 consonants (the  ka varga i.e. ka, kha, ga, gha, na ) are all sounds which emanate from the throat, the second sequence from the middle of the tongue, the third from the roof of the mouth, the fourth from the tip of the tongue, and the fifth from the lips. The second and fourth consonants in each sequence are aspirants in which the sound 'ha' is combined with the previous consonant e.g. ka+ha =kha.
  4. 5000 years ago in the Indus Valley Civilization the system of town planning was created with straight streets, covered drains, water and sewage system, etc.

Before the coming of the British India was a prosperous country. Its share in world trade in 1700 was about 30%, which fell to 2% by the end of British rule and is still not more than 3%.

India's Present
Today there is no doubt that India is a poor country. While there are some pockets of affluence, about 80% of our people are afflicted with poverty, unemployment and other evils, and one major cause of this is the mental backwardness of a large part of our people.
(though there are also brilliant people like the Indian scientists and engineers in Silicon Valley)  Consider the following:

  1. When most of our people go to vote they cast their votes on the basis of caste or religion, not the merit of the candidate. What else is the meaning of vote banks? And this is exploited by some unscrupulous politicians who know how to manipulate and manage these vote banks. That is why many persons with criminal backgrounds get elected.
  2. 'Honour' killings are common in many parts of the country. This is a barbaric practice, and shows how backward many of us still are.
  3. Dowry deaths are common in India, and as a former Judge I can tell you that our courts have a large number of cases of young married women who are murdered in a barbaric manner by their in laws for not getting dowry e.g. by pouring petrol on them and setting them on fire.
  4. Scheduled castes are still often treated inhumanly, and an example is the recent attack on dalits in Dharmapuri district in Tamil Nadu.
  5. Female foeticide is common in many parts of India. Often when a male child is born the relatives are happy and distribute sweets, but when a female child is born often relatives get dejected. This is also a sign of backwardness among many of us.
  6. Communalism, which was almost non-existent in 1857, is widespread in our society today. Muslims often face discrimination in getting jobs, houses on rent, etc, as the Justice Sachar Committee report has highlighted.  Muslims are often falsely implicated in bomb blasts and they have to spend years in jail though ultimately found innocent.As I mentioned, upto 1857 communalism was almost non-existent in India. There were no doubt differences between Hindu and Muslims, but there was no enmity between them. In the Mutiny of 1857 Hindus and Muslims jointly fought against the British. After crushing the Mutiny the British decided that the only way to control India was divide and rule.Consequently, the policy came from London to create hatred between Hindus and Muslims. The British Collector used to secretly call the Panditji and gave him money to speak against the Muslims, and similarly he gave money to the Maulvi Saheb to speak against Hindus. All communal riots began after 1857. The communal award in the Minto-Morley 'Reforms' of 1909 introduced separate electorates for Hindus and Muslims. Year after year, decade after decade, the communal poison was injected by the British into our body politic, and even after 1947 there are elements which continue this (see online 'History in the Service of Imperialism' and my article 'What is India' on my blog justicekatju.blogspot.in)Certain agent provocateurs take advantage of our backwardness to incite communal riots, and unfortunately many people fall prey to these evil designs and get emotionally carried away by communal propaganda and fight with each other.
  7. Superstition is rampant in India. Most people believe in astrology, which is pure superstition and humbug. And it is not just the illiterates who believe in it, it is also most of the so called educated people in India. Many Ministers and Judges prefer to take oath of office at the 'auspicious' time.A few years back it was announced that Lord Ganesh is drinking milk, and there was a rush of people to offer milk to Ganesh. Earlier, a 'miracle' chapati was circulating.
  8. A large section of the media, taking advantage of the backwardness of a large section of our people, dishes out lives of filmstars, cricket, etc as if these are the real issues before the people, when the real issues are socio-economic.

As I said above, when I called most people(not all)  fools I did not wish to harm them, rather it was just the contrary. I want India to become a prosperous country, but this is possible only when the mindset of a large number of people changes, and their minds are rid of casteism, communalism, superstitions, and other backward ideas and they become scientific and modern.
By being modern I do not mean wearing a nice suit or a beautiful sari or skirt. By being modern I mean developing a modern mind, which means a rational mind, a scientific mind, and a questioning mind. As already stated above, at one time we led the whole world in science and technology, but today we are undoubtedly far behind the West and even China. How did this happen? Why were we left behind, why did we not have an Industrial Revolution like Europe? This is known as 'Needham's Question' or 'Needham's Grand Question', named after Prof. Joseph Needham of Cambridge University (1900-1995). It is high time Indians try to answer this question, instead of trying to evade the reality of the backwardness of most of us.

The worst thing in life is poverty, and 80% of our people are poor, which is largely because of the mental backwardness of most (not all) of us. To abolish poverty we need to spread the scientific outlook to every nook and corner of our country. It is only then that India will shine. And until that happens the vast majority of our people will continue to be taken for a ride.

Justice Markandey Katju
10.12.2012

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Picasa Collage feature

Picasa Collage feature is nice and simple. My gut feeling is that, a lot of innovation can happen around this feature.

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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Life–Road Map

It’s been a while since I posted about my personal life. Honestly, there hasn’t been any progress in my life, so didn’t feel the necessity of posting. And I didn’t want to embarrass myself repeating same stuff again and again (although when I read my old posts, I find them poetic and intimidating). Even as I write this, there hasn’t been much change in my life. Still, my priorities are the same. But the failure to produce anything productive in last few years have taught me lot of things. The first and foremost being, the value of being able to convert the raw ideas into actionable items. Frankly I never had difficulties in producing new ideas, however, the fact that, I haven’t had much success in life testifies that I haven’t been able to convert my ideas into actionable items.

As one grows old, the need for stabilizing the life increases. You either have get adjusted with the direction in which your life is heading or you have to push the life towards the direction of your choice. I am working at Microsoft, earning reasonably good income and have a supporting family… there isn’t much to complain. Yet, I am finding it difficult to adjust with this life. This means, if I have to be happy, the other option is, I need to push my life towards the direction of my choice. In order to do so, I first need to identify the ‘direction’ of my choice. Otherwise, I will be trying out various things but that ‘happiness’ would still be elusive.

I did a mind-map of what exactly I want to accomplish during this life… the list of objectives when accomplished, I would feel satisfied with life. After lot of introspection, this is what I have got.

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Essentially, there are four top priority goals. And each of these goals have a criteria for being successful. I don’t want to go in details about each of these things… but what this essentially means is that, I need to immediately reduce investing time in activities which aren’t my priorities.

The next step was to draft action items for each of these goals. Here’s what I have come up with so far.

Practice Islam: Action Items

  • Offer Salah punctually
  • Give away significant portion of earning in charity
  • · Stay away from Riba and Zina
  • · Read and Understand Tafsir of Holy Quran
  • · Read all six important books of Hadith
  • · Practice the values of mentioned in Holy Quran and books of Hadith.

Be a Good Son, Brother, Husband, etc.: Action Items

  • · Practice Islam and guide the family members towards the right path
  • · Love and respect the family members even if they don’t listen to me
  • · Support and fulfil the (halal) wishes of family members
  • · Be selfless and reduce ego

Make Discoveries: Action Items

  • · Be persistent in learning new stuff
  • · Convert ideas into research papers and publish in top journals (Nature, Phys. Rev. Letters)

To showcase intellectual leadership: Action Items

  • · Complete Masters and PhD.
  • · Connect with people and understand the issues faced at a civilization level
  • · Inspire and guide people through ideas and values

Will keep you posted about my progress. By the way, I do recommend you to try the above exercise if you are not happy with life.