It’s about 4 AM in the morning and from last 4 hours I am trying to record a video of a presentation on “Turning Point – Turmoil in Theoretical physics”. The worst thing is that I haven’t been able to complete it.
1. My English accent sucks.
2. I have lost fluency in English.
3. With the static camera angle and my constant movements, the presentation isn’t been properly captured.
Nonetheless, this is my first attempt before the camera and I have learnt a lot of things. I need to re-think about my confidence on public speaking. I was living in a fool-paradise, believing that I am still as good as what I was couple of years ago in terms of oratory skills. Fortunately, I have come out of it and I will try my best to get back to my best days.
Last couple of days have been psychologically very damaging… it almost feels like heartbroken. Everyone close to my heart is failing to understand me and it really hurts. I am trying my best not to lose concentration on the target but at the same time, I feel terribly bad at being in this state.
These days will never come back… the passion that I have today for theoretical physics will never remain the same… while these things do sound good… it affect my immediate priorities. Couple of days back, I was told that “I have time for writing blogs, collecting coins, creating theories but doesn’t have time for talking to people who care for you….” It was a huge eye-opener for me. I thing most of the time I am self-centric… when I have some good news… I drum about it and then I undergo some sort of hibernation until something good happens… Trying hard folks to change my bad-habits ... please bare with me. On one side, I know what I have done is wrong… but keep the constant feedback coming… I guess by now you would have understood that once I have been told about my mistake…I try hard to rectify it.
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