Last few months have been very disappointing. Last week I had a deep realization that I should probably enjoy life as much as I can. There is no point in being sad about circumstances in life. If things are meant to happen, they would happen. And yes, people are imperfect and sometimes they don’t mean what they say. There is no worse way of wasting time than feeling hurt at words of people.
At the same time, I wanted to be clear on what I wanted from life. Enjoying life doesn’t mean screwing it up. Enjoyment can take different meanings depending on the mindset of the person. I kept asking myself, what does enjoyment mean to me? Is it watching a movie with friends? Playing cricket? Working on a research idea? Participating in a debate? Being with her? Advancing in career? The questions went on and my mind swung like a pendulum for a while.
And finally, I got the answer. Knowingly or unknowingly, I have enjoyed the moments when I have truly submitted myself to the will of God. When I didn’t get through the entrance exam for IITs (apparently I got 2 marks in physics main exam! I still want to know who corrected my answer-sheet), I submitted myself to the will of God. I ended up being at GRIET, a private engineering college. At first I felt, I am at a wrong place but as it turned out, it was probably the best place I could be. The kind of encouragement I got from the faculty was something I wouldn’t have got anywhere else. Not only they trusted in my abilities but also gave me freedom to do whatever I want. For many of them, I was the favourite student of the class. Three years have passed since I graduated and yes, I sometimes do miss those days. Writing research papers till late night, arriving late to college, sleeping at the first bench and being the favourite student of most of the faculty members… those were pretty awesome days and I think I enjoyed my engineering more than anyone else.
As it turned out, when I was near to the completion of my engineering, I was again in the state of utter confusion. I didn’t know what to do with my life. I had done all those crazy papers but what’s next? These were the days, when everyone was looking at GRE, GATE, GMAT, CAT… and all sorts of other competitive examinations to get admissions in top universities. And there I was with no direction. Again, I submitted myself to the will of God. As it turned out, life changed within a month. I got an opportunity to work as intern at Microsoft (thanks to a dear friend of mine who asked his uncle to refer me at Microsoft without my knowledge) and subsequently after graduation, I joined Microsoft as full time employee. It’s been more than three years with Microsoft and what a pleasurable time it has been. Again, writing research papers till late night, arriving office post afternoon, working at my own will and being totally supported by my managers and peers. Few days back my manager got me sponsorship from Microsoft Research to attend International Congress of Mathematicians even though the conference is totally unrelated to my professional work. I can’t describe how blessed I feel sometimes for having the most supportive and encouraging people around me. And yes, submitting to the will of God has given me the true enjoyment of life.
Now, as I stand at the cross roads of my life, I want to submit myself to the will of God. I would just walk the life as it comes and let God show me the direction of enjoyment.
(I have shared a picture of mine on this blog post. During the month of Ramzan, I happen to lose few KGs of weight and feeling real good about my fitness. This picture was taken yesterday during a trip to a power plant near Raichur)